Today’s blog comes on the heels of a soul to soul I had with a friend of mine who never ceases to light a creative fire in me and always delivers a timely message my soul needs to hear. Thank you my friend.

Getting Down to the Heart of the Matter

I have spent most of my life weighing pros and cons and trying to control outcomes. Sound familiar?

Well, if you’re like me, you know just how much energy is wasted trying to control anything, especially outcomes! And let’s face it, when you end up with an outcome you didn’t bargain for it’s downright disappointing.

Of course, there are those magical moments when the outcome you poured your heart and soul into, manifests. The beauty of these miraculous moments is they often end up being ten times greater than what you could have ever imagined or even thought possible.

Now I will admit, letting go of the need to control an outcome is a lot easier said than done. Truth be told, I’m really good at maintaining a sense of control and my inner perfectionist- well, it specializes in strategizing outcomes.

But let’s be real …I can control, manipulate, plan, and strategize all I want- things won’t always go the way I plan them to.

So what’s all the hype about surrendering outcomes?

When we surrender and let go of the need to control outcomes, it leaves room for freedom, flexibility, spontaneity and (drum roll)…possibility.

You see, if we don’t have the freedom to express ourselves and be who we really are, we betray ourselves and that never feels good.

Furthermore, when we don’t exercise flexibility in life, we become so rigid that we eventually shut down.

Instead of enjoying the spontaneity of life, our life experience becomes monotonous, mundane, and motionless. I don’t know about you but there is nothing worse than being stagnant or stuck- it limits your true potential and cuts you off from the endless possibilities life has to offer.

The Power of Letting Go

Stop for a moment and think of a situation or circumstance in your life right now where you feel the need to control the outcome.

How much energy have you expended, calculating and analyzing every move related to your ideal outcome?

Think about how exhausting it is to try to manipulate people, things, or circumstances in order to experience your desired outcome even though it’s not guaranteed.

And keep it real, how much time have you spent fantasizing about some future moment when the desired outcome will lend itself to you finding true love, fulfillment, inner peace or happiness?

Can you see how the circumstance or outcome you’re trying to control, is the very thing that is keeping you from being who you are and experiencing all that life has to offer you right now?

Life isn’t about the destination, it’s about the journey- the lived experience from day to day and moment to moment.

What would it mean for you to surrender the outcome and be present to the experience itself?
And can you give yourself permission to simply let go, trust and have faith in knowing that the Universe has your back?

As always I would love to hear from you.

With Love & Light,



  1. skillcode says:

    Thank you!


  2. First of all thank you for the beautiful compliment and for being vulnerable enough to share what you’re going through.

    In my experience, one of the greatest challenges we face is- to be authentically who we are. This includes being able to express ourselves freely, love who we want to love, follow our bliss, share our unique gifts with others and live our biggest, wildest dreams.

    As for overcoming fear… I’m not sure that fear is something we can ever overcome. The upside is, you’re not alone. I believe that in some way, shape or form, we all have an underlying fear of being judged or rejected. Why? At the end of the day, we all want to be accepted and we all want to love and be loved.

    I will say that I do believe that the more we face our fears and move through them- we loosen the grip and control that fear can have over us.

    I’m not in the business of offering advice but I would like to offer this- be patient with yourself, Love and don’t forget to love yourself along the way.

    Finally, please remember: YOU are a beautiful expression of the Divine. YOU are perfect and whole. It is YOUR birthright to be authentically YOU- to follow the beat of YOUR own heart. YOUR dreams matter & YOU ARE worthy of goodness and joy.

    Know that ALL the LOVE & LIGHT your heart desires is already within YOU.

    Much Love,


  3. skillcode says:

    Hey (you’re really pretty),

    I agree, letting go and learning to accept the dream can be a life changing experience, but I haven’t really gotten there myself.

    I like to plan out my future a lot as well, mostly in a way that I would see as perfect for myself and others, but so often we mistake our own needs for other peoples free will.

    Maybe you have some advice for me on how to really overcome my own fear, considering the one think I worry about is being rejected and judged. But I also want to say that it comes down to many different factors as well, like the country you live in, and the people you have to deal with.

    The town I live in right now, my birth town, people here tend to live other peoples lives more often than they do their own and that is the think that is bugging me the most.. I know there is someone out there who is waiting for me to step-up and let go of everything but I always break down…

    Thanks, bless.

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