Discovering The Core Of Existence

It’s been a few months since I last blogged. For me writing comes in momentous waves and sometimes endless lulls. There are moments when the desire to write is fueled from a place where I am obliged to put words to a page. However, the last few months I’ve found myself dwelling in a more contemplative space. A space where becoming more silent has become essential to the practice of being patient, loving and kind. (A task I am sure I will spend the rest of my life cultivating).

Recently, I listened to one of my favorite podcasts. This week the speaker, Poet/Author David Whyte speaks about the “conversational nature of reality”. Whyte points to why one must develop the “central conversation” to bring oneself to the very core of his/her existence. This willingness to explore this “conversational frontier” is relevant to becoming what Whyte calls a “serious conversationalist”.

Upon listening to the podcast, (a handful of times in the last week) I have been thinking about how it is that I can become a serious conversationalist. I’ve also had to re-assess my life and determine at what point will I have the guts to step out of the “periphery” where all my energy is essentially wasted and step wholeheartedly into my core. I must admit there have been moments over the last week where I have second guessed myself. I was confident prior to listening to the podcast that I had been seriously exploring my core over the last few years. However, I realized that despite the progress I have made in my “spiritual practice” and in my personal/professional life, I still dance and linger on the periphery, perhaps because I’m too afraid to have the “serious conversation” with myself. I venture to say that we’ve all stood on the periphery, too frightened to leave the job which makes us miserable, too frightened to end a relationship that is no longer serving our highest good, too frightened to follow our creative aspirations and just too damn frightened of the unknown.

After the last week of fully digesting Whyte’s nourishing food for thought, I’ve realized that I am standing closer than ever to the inviting edge of the unknown. An edge that continually calls upon me to take the courageous plunge to explore my core more deeply and truthfully.

I’ve included a poem by David Whyte which is the summation of all the words which I cannot come close to poignantly surmising in this post but feel deeply connected to nonetheless. Mahalo for stopping by. ~Enjoy!~

Namaste

Alana

Everything is Waiting for You

Your great mistake is to act the drama
as if you were alone. As if life
were a progressive and cunning crime
with no witness to the tiny hidden
transgressions. To feel abandoned is to deny
the intimacy of your surroundings. Surely,
even you, at times, have felt the grand array;
the swelling presence, and the chorus, crowding
out your solo voice You must note
the way the soap dish enables you,
or the window latch grants you freedom.
Alertness is the hidden discipline of familiarity.
The stairs are your mentor of things
to come, the doors have always been there
to frighten you and invite you,
and the tiny speaker in the phone
is your dream-ladder to divinity.
Put down the weight of your aloneness and ease into
the conversation. The kettle is singing
even as it pours you a drink, the cooking pots
have left their arrogant aloofness and
seen the good in you at last. All the birds
and creatures of the world are unutterably
themselves. Everything is waiting for you.
— David Whyte
from Everything is Waiting for You

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2 thoughts on “Discovering The Core Of Existence

  1. adventuresinsolitude76 says:

    Trey, I would venture to say that one can never spend too much time in ones core! Perhaps I too am one of those “peculiar” folks who actually find much contentment and peace as a result of dwelling in solitude.

    With all due respect, I assume the peculiar nature you speak of has much to do with being diagnosed with aspergers. However, I find it refreshing that you have resigned to the fact that you must engage in these serious, meaningful and sometimes “odd” conversations with yourself. I would also venture to say if this peculiar quality did not exist, then much of the insight and beautiful teachings you have contributed and shared with the blogosphere might not exist. Your distinct nature and creative spirit, along with countless others, (who’s work I have been humbled by) is why I continue to peel back the layers of who I am and accept the good, the bad, the ugly, the peculiar and the odd parts of myself which make me whole.

    Many blessings to you and your wife in this time of reflection and solitude. May you find peace, harmony and joy.

    MAHALO,
    Alana

  2. Because of my peculiar nature, I probably spend far too much time in my core. Since my social interactions are few and very tightly controlled, I spend many hours each day having deep conversations with myself. In fact, much of my writing springs from these (sometimes very odd) conversations.

    I also wanted to say that any serious thinker needs to be silent and reflective from time to time. Since Scott Bradley joined my blog recently, I’ve let his posts predominate as I take a bit of time off to allow for reflection. I still write something most days, but not in my usual torrent.

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