Discovering Who I Am

It’s been a while since I posted an entry and much of the reason is due to the fact that I have been exhaustingly busy, trying to manage work, school, my personal life and my spiritual practice. I keep trying to convince myself that once I have time to do “x”, then I will be able to do “y” and the result of course will be some utopian “z”. However, the truth is, my current “x” will undoubtedly be replaced by another time consuming “x” and I’ll find some excuse not to do “y” and once again I’ll be looking forward to my utopian “z”! This is the beauty and mystery of my life, of all of ours lives.

Although one may read this post and find it too philosophical, spiritual, or any other adjective one might add, I can honestly chuckle because these days I’m trying not to take myself, nor my life too seriously. Seems like I’ve been there, done that and truthfully there is comfort and a sense of peace knowing at any time I can jump off the ol’ hamster wheel and embark on a new adventure.

In addition, the problem with taking oneself too seriously is we find ourselves trying to live up to the expectations and standards of others. Inevitably when we look into the mirror we’re conflicted by what we see and if we look hard enough we realize the essence of who we are is not only buried but often embedded in years of shame, guilt, dishonesty, fear and regret. By taking ourselves too seriously, we’re painfully reminded of the lies we’ve told ourselves and others because deep within our hearts we long to breathe, speak and live our own truth.

Lately, when I look in the mirror I see the unfoldment of my life, the mystery that constantly reveals itself in the most delicate ways. Underneath all my layers and underneath all of OUR collective layers, lies what what Plato eloquently described as innately good, true and beautiful. This belief is what drives me to dig deeper, to grow and continue on the path of discovering who I am.

Namaste

Alana

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