Creating Boundaries

The beauty about “awakening” so to speak is not that you automatically have it “all” figured out, or that you are automatically void of suffering or experiencing tough times, it just means that you become better equipped to face adversity when it arises. However, awareness is only one facet of the adventure, for fellow wanderers along the spiritual path realize that spirituality encompasses a great deal.

The topic for today is creating boundaries. Unfortunately, I can’t help but acknowledge some internal discomfort I am experiencing due to the fact that some of my most intimate relationships have changed due in part to the “positive” changes I have made in my life. The truth is, the more I become aware of the deeper sense of who I am, the more I realize the pervasive separatism that exists in the hearts and minds of certain individuals. It’s difficult for some people to realize and accept the ways in which judgment creates divisiveness. This is why it is so important for all of us to cultivate love and kindness not only towards others but towards ourselves!

What we need to understand is that boundaries directly stem from our worldview. Boundaries are manifestations of continually perpetuated beliefs filled with diluted thoughts and dialogue that say, “I am better than you”, or “I’m not good enough”. “I am more attractive than you”, or “I wish I was as attractive as she is, I hate the way I look”. “I make more money than you”, or “I wish I could make as much money as he does, then I could buy all the luxuries he has and more”. And how about, “my God is the only God”, or “there is no such thing as a God, if there is a God why is their so much destruction in the world”. Do you see how easily boundaries can be created?

Now, it is quite possible that I am being overly sensitive today, that the sense of moodiness I am feeling is partly due not only to changes in my relationships but my brain’s associations between rain and feeling melancholy. Ironically, the more I observe how I feel, unpack my thoughts on boundaries and put words to the page, I realize that rain is symbolic of replenishment, growth and renewal. Ofcourse bottom line, my hope is that human beings, those closest to me and myself included learn how to dissolve divisive behavior patterns once and for all! Albert Einstein expressed the following sentiment by saying, “We experience ourselves, our thoughts and feelings, as something separate from the rest-a kind of optical delusion of our consciousness. This delusion is a prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires, and to affection for a few persons nearest us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of understanding and compassion, to embrace all living creatures in the whole of nature and its beauty.” This resonates with me because in truth we are part of an interconnected whole. Why do we continually cut ourselves off from wholeness and go on a soul searching mission to discover it? Why do we create boundaries by honing in on qualities that make us uniquely different from friends, family, colleagues, strangers, etc., and proclaim superiority, or inferiority to these individuals? Instead of emphasizing our religious, cultural and moral precepts, why can’t we just embrace these unique qualities and perspectives?

I hope that if you are reading this blog, you can acknowledge the divisive patterns in your own behavior. By discerning these patterns, maybe it will inspire you to be more loving and more kind. It is also my hope that the sentiments expressed in this blog will inspire you to cultivate friendships and relationships which embrace the qualitative differences of you and others, seeing them as diverse, creative, loving expressions of the divine.

Today, stop and take the time to call your best friend to say hello, don’t be afraid of smiling at a stranger on the street, offering a helping hand to someone in need, cultivate gratitude, or longingly gaze at a sunset in all it’s magnificent glory and finally, don’t forget to stop and tell a loved one how much they mean to you.




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