The unconscious need to attach oneself to things and to others seems to be heavily entrenched in human beings. Even in the womb the fetus’ attachment to the placenta for nourishment seems to suggest that on some level attachment is part of human nature. However, when does attachment as survival become problematic and why has attachment become necessary for an individual to gage, acquire, or sustain happiness?
It can be argued that there are “healthy” attachments as well as “unhealthy” attachments. For example, a healthy attachment could be when an individual tries to model his/her own family based upon a positive model their parents provided. The loving and nurturing behavior modeled by the individual’s parents might connote feelings of joy and fulfillment to that individual. On the other hand, how would one describe the attachment a woman has to her husband despite the fact that he abuses her and she refuses to leave him? Obviously, one could surmise that this is an example of an unhealthy attachment. So why is it that the attachment that began as a necessity for survival is problematic in either of the two paradigms of healthy and unhealthy attachment? And why is it important to realize that true freedom lies in detachment? In the book, “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success”, Deepak Chopra says, “In detachment lies the wisdom of uncertainty…in the wisdom of uncertainty lies the freedom from our past, from the known, which is the prison of past conditioning. And in our willingness to step into the unknown, the field of all possibilities, we surrender ourselves to the creative mind that orchestrates the dance of the universe.”
While one cannot deny that expressing love and gratitude to those he/she loves is important, once an individual lets go of his/her attachments, (“healthy” or “unhealthy”), the individual relinquishes the need to rely on others for happiness and most importantly the individual relinquishes the fears and insecurities of their past, in order to realize the true nature of one’s being. Therefore, the trivial attachments to relationships, material possessions and self deprecating behaviors cease to exist and one can participate in what Chopra calls, “the dance of the universe, the fertile ground of pure creativity and freedom.”